I spoke with Jeremy this morning by phone. Things are going well, his body is responding well to the antibiotics and his vitals are good. We have been told that the doctors were working towards getting Jeremy out of the hospital ASAP, but now I’m starting to think we have different definitions of what that means. The only thing keeping Jeremy in the hospital is the identification of the third bug in his body. The are giving him a range of meds and clearly one is working, but they don’t know which med it is and he won’t be released until that’s identified so we go home with the correct medication plan. The hope was that he’d be ready for discharge this weekend.
However, it is a holiday weekend and the doctor schedule a procedure for Tuesday that they have done as outpatient and telling Jeremy he won’t be released until 24 or 48 hours after that procedure…meaning he won’t be released until Wednesday at the earliest. I may start to get my battle gear…we love and trust these docs but Jeremy is greatly affected by the long, seemingly pointless days in the hospital away from his family and “normal” life. This is a big week for us as two of kids will be starting school and we have orientations and first day of class. Jeremy really wants to be here for all of this. It wouldn’t be so hard if he were in a serious condition, but that really isn’t the case right now. At this point in his chemo cycle he is only getting stronger and it will be hard for this portion of the cycle for him to be stuck in the hospital. Remember, he is supposed to be admitted back into the hospital in a short while for his fourth round of chemo.
Jeremy is very goal oriented and actually quite disciplined when it comes to making preparations for a big task. Since he has to be strong and healthy for the stem cell transplant, he has set several goals for himself so he can “get strong” as he prepares for that procedure. The hospital is not a conducive place for him to eat, exercise or meet his goals. This could be discouraging for him.
I am so proud if his determination and his attitude. I would be lying if I didn’t share his discouragement at times. Last night was a pretty raw night for us and he cried as he talked about his fears of making it through but not recovering (meaning the cancer returns or the transplant goes badly) and how sad he feels to have “lost” this summer as he has been in the hospital for 95% of it. He still has faith and is strong, but his current circumstances aren’t a catalyst for positivity.
Please continue praying for him and us. Given what we know right now of Jeremy’s stay in the hospital, I will need to figure out evening childcare so I can visit him. All of this is hard but this week it feels extra heavy in terms of feeling frustrated and lacking control, things not going how we want or hoped. We are grateful we are not in a serious or dangerous place regarding Jeremy’s vitals, response to meds, etc. At the same time, I believe mental and emotional health are very important, too. Thanks for your prayers.